Day 3

Growing up in a small town, community just seemed to sort of . . . happen. I didn't really understand the effort that went into relationships because I had my parents/ school/ church/ other people to take care of planning events for me. Adult relationships are a lot of work but that work makes it so much more worth it.

Okay, so I'm thinking about this because I'm on Day 3 of my summer and I'm realizing where I am now is different than where I was last year. I had a mental list of how to spend my time last summer that included house projects, travel, and some family/ friend time. However, this year, spending time with friends and family is at the top of my list and I have been way more intentional about it. I don't want to lose any time!

Making friends as an adult seems mysterious but I think the same rules still apply. When I was growing up, my parents would coach me on how to do social stuff. If I wanted to hang out with someone, I had to ask that friend to ask their parents if she could come to my house on X day at Y time. It was usually an after school thing. My mom would make snacks.

At some point growing up, my parents stopped telling me how to hang out with people and the rules got a little fuzzier. It wasn't cool anymore to ask your teenage friends, "Hey, do you want to come hang out at my house after school?" No. People went to Sonic, or the pizza place, or a local barn (small town life). I was a junior in high school before cell phones really exploded. That changed my social life a LOT. People were instantly accessible. I didn't have to worry about their parents answering the phone. Communication became faster and more intimate and there weren't any rules.

So now that everyone has cell phones and we don't hang out after school and our parents don't make our snacks for us, I forget that relationships still follow the same basic rules.

"Hey, _______, do you want to hang out on X day and Y time? Let's eat _________, or drink _________, or watch _________."

Have you ever noticed how we tend to hang out with people we see in our day to day lives more than other people? This seems normal and natural but also unfair. Yeah, I like the people I work with and the people I go to church with and my neighbors. But, I also like people outside of my daily circles and I want to make time for them. So, I will.

Thus, my summer plans include travel to see people outside of my daily circles. It includes intentional get-togethers. I will call my neighbor and ask her to come over on X day and Y time to drink tea or walk around the neighborhood or go to a park.

Volunteer
I'm in preparation mode. I have two classes scheduled for Mondays and they will be roughly the same so that simplifies my life. I look forward to getting to know my students. :-)

Whole 30
I made pecan pie bars, yesterday, even though you're not supposed to make dessert substitutes. I didn't add the maple syrup so I dub them, "Acceptable." I like them a lot but I think I cooked them too long or needed to add more oil because they were a little dry.

• pulse 1.7 almond flour, 1 egg, 1 tsp coconut oil, ¼ tsp salt. press into pan. bake for 15 minutes at 350.
• blend 8 oz dates. add 2 eggs, ½ tsp vanilla, cinnamon
• pour and sprinkle 1 cup pecans. back for 30 minutes at 350.

We had a small group party last night and I successfully did not eat a single potato chip, even though they are still sitting on my counter. Since I have a cold, today, and my defenses are down, I may need Matthew to hide them before too long . . .

Study
Since I woke up with a cold, today. This is probably all I'm going to do. Why is it I can't sit still and read a book until I'm sick?

Self-Care
When I woke up sick, I cleared my schedule and took some medicine. So that counts, right? I'm also going to spend the day sitting and reading. Also, I wrote this blog.

-April