The New Normal

Have you heard of the new normal?

Every now and then, something comes along in life and changes everything. At first, you're shocked, stunned. How could this happen? Of course, you probably know how it happened (your church moved buildings, you got a new job, your best friend moves away, etc.) But what you didn't know, was that in addition to changing your circumstances, this new normal also changes your outlook, your every day feelings, your routine. It feels like starting over . . . which can feel like losing something.

Our pastor preached about this new normal a while ago. It's a phrase I like to use in situations like changing my diet forever, or becoming an aunt (yay!) It applies to pretty much any time you realize: Everything is different now.

In my life, the new normal happens pretty regularly. It feels like stretching. Along that line, the more my life changes and I learn to adjust to new situations and circumstances, the more flexible I feel. I've not had major changes in my life, considering, but to me, some changes still feel really big.

When Matthew broke his collar bone and got a concussion, I felt the new normal of becoming a care taker for the first time and learning to put someone else's needs before my own. When I worked my first full-time job, I learned the new normal of sacrificing my time to help support my family. When God and I had long talks one summer about how to be a good friend, I learned the new normal of leaning on Him for my emotional needs rather than seeking that elsewhere.

I keep using that word "learn." I'm only 27 years old but I've already decided that we never stop learning and growing.

Last week, I felt a lot of newness in my life. My husband was transitioning into a new job (pretty much his first new job in 11 years), my brother and sister-in-law had a baby (yay!), and my job was the busiest it's ever been as I continue to get used to this relatively new career (counseling).

Sometimes we can experience good or neutral events but they still effect us like the world is going to end. Positive stress is better than negative stress but I still react to it the same way. Usually, I need to have a good long cry. By Friday of last week, I was ready for that but hadn't figured out how to do it. By Sunday, my body had had enough and I cried straight for thirty minutes (during church), just because.

I'm over the shock of things looking different and the emotional hump (for now). I find myself facing this new normal with my eyes and ears open. How can I support my husband as he works from home? What can I change about my routine at work that will help me stay happy and healthy? How can I support my brother and sister-in-law from six hours away?

This new normal feels like starting over . . . which can feel like opportunity.

Dad Post: To Build a House

This post was supposed to be published on 9/30/14. Whoops.

Does a person ever grow out of that stage of wanting to please her parents? I still have not. Whether I'm cleaning my house or choosing a new car, I find myself wondering what my parents would think. For example: sometime over the course of my marriage, I switched to use a mop rather than cleaning the floor by hand. This was to save time and make it easier to do an onerous task that otherwise would probably not get done. It's been years since the change and I still, to this day, have my mother's voice in my head explaining why the floor gets cleaner when you wash it by hand. Every. Single. Time. The worst part is, I know she's right.

My dad is a great thinker, literally. He thinks for long amounts of time and about very specific things. This makes him an excellent planner and follow-through-er. Luckily, I picked up some of his habits and usually have some sort of logical plan in place for most of my daily activities (though they may not be logical for the lay observer). I also inherited his sense of direction, taste for coffee, and stocky calf muscles. Unfortunately, I did not inherit his endurance for hard work. He is always doing things . . . and usually for other people!

Since his retirement, my dad works odd jobs around town, through his church, and at home and volunteers for clean up after natural disasters all over the country. He's gone a lot these days, traveling to scrape mud out of houses or building an addition for a church. He comes home with plenty of stories, too.

One trend I've noticed during his adventures is that his focus is not entirely, or even mostly, on the physical labor he's doing. Oh, he'll show me pictures of the progress they've made (proud of a job well done!) but what he tells me while showing these pictures are stories about people. He'll talk about how the team he was on worked really well together, the hosts were really kind and hospitable, or the neighbors had lots of questions about his faith or why he was helping.

What I learned from my Dad growing up and what I see even more clearly as an adult, is . . . well, it's a lot of things. But the two main points I'm making now are:

1. Whatever you do, do it to the best of your ability.

2. Meeting people's practical needs opens the door for meeting their spiritual needs.

So, when I go to my job and I feel tired, I push through. When I see a practical need around me, I consider meeting it. When I'm inspired by nature or challenged by worldly concerns or just happy to be doing a job that needs done, I'm reminded of him. And I praise God for my family.

Fitness and Health Update

Four days ago, I posted this on Facebook:

"
Working full time for the last two years has really taken a toll on my health. My weight has gone up (yes, even without eating all the stuff I don't eat) and my energy flat-lined. I've gotten into some bad habits and I lack the motivation to exercise. I used to walk 2+ miles a day just to get to work and now I drive everywhere. It's a sad story.
There's good news! I'm going to try tracking macro-nutrients and exercise using fancy phone apps ('cause that makes it fun, right?) You can "friend" me on myfitnesspal and runkeeper if you want. Be my friend! Walk around my neighborhood with me! If you have an MSU fitness center pass, let's schedule a "workout date."
"

I already feel a need to write an update because I already see areas that need major improvement! You guys, it's really hard to work out consistently and eat right!

Now that I'm done whining, here are the things that are going well and things that are NOT going well.

Excercise:
I have exercised more this week than any other since August. Huzzah! I need to walk or do yoga every day to stay in a healthy frame of mind. This area has improved since I started tracking but there is still room for improvement. My main issue is motivation. I have the time, the means, the energy, but not the will power. Finding friends to walk with me is really helpful!

Diet:
I haven't made major changes to my diet, just tracked calories and macro nutrients (protein, carbs, fats). I have also tried to be more intentional about eating when I'm hungry and not eating when I'm not hungry. This is easier than it used to be since I'm a recovering emotional eater. My other stress-relief hobbies help out here (yoga, walking, painting, reading, talking, music, etc.)

My goal for macro nutrients is consistent with a basic paleo food plan starting point: 20% protein, 20% carbs, 60% fats. I got really close to those percentages at first but as the week went on and my stress level rose, I have had increasing percentages of carbs, and decreasing percentages of protein and fat. One fact is glaringly obvious to me just based on my feelings; I NEED PROTEIN.

Since starting this job in February, diet has been a big problem for me. I often don't have time to eat lunch or have to eat while driving. I don't mind eating while driving but it makes meal planning very difficult. It's fun to eat fruit, nuts, chips, fruit/ nut bars, packages of deli meats, etc. but that's not really a full meal . . . I regularly don't get the protein I need or get it too late in the day.

I love making and eating chicken salad . . . for about two days until I get sick of it. I need more chicken salad type meals that can be eaten cold and on the go. Ideas? (Think paleo . . .)

In conclusion, I expect the exercise will continue to improve as I continue tracking. I need to work on increasing my protein to help me feel full and happy. Proper planning on the weekend is probably the key here. At least now I have my fitness tracking data to back me up and keep me motivated.

-April