I'm currently reading Brene Brown's Daring Greatly. She's written several books but my brother, a self-described Brown evangelist, mostly recommends Daring Greatly and Rising Strong. If you're curious if her books are right for you: 1. Yes, they are. 2. Watch this video.
On page 82, Brown quotes Pennebaker (author of Writing to Heal) on the power of emotional writing: ""The evidence is mounting that the act of writing about traumatic experience for as little as fifteen or twenty minutes a day for three or four days can produce measurable changes in physical and mental health. Emotional writing can also affect people's sleep habits, work efficiency, and how they connect with others.""
This passage struck me. I remember last year, I was very intentional about buying a new notebook for the new school year. It's teal and gorgeous. I also bought fancy blue pens to use only when writing in this notebook. I didn't have plans for the notebook, specifically. I didn't know that it would change me.
In August of 2014, I was working at a job that still felt new and I had just had two months of furlough. It was scary to jump into the busy season, still learning the ropes. As a counselor, I often find myself in situations that most people would describe as "awkward." I specialize in difficult conversations. I have years of training to prepare me for this. And yet, some days, I feel like I fail at this.
My pretty new notebook became my shame journal, of sorts. When I found myself feeling overwhelmed, I would take a short break and write down all of my thoughts, especially the really ugly ones. If I worried about being good enough to do my job, I wrote it down. I confessed all of my fears about my own self-worth, ponderings about how other people felt about me, and questions about the meaning of life. Unsurprisingly, it wasn't just work stuff, but life stuff, church stuff, and friend stuff that made it's way into the notebook. Turns out, when I felt stressed at work, everything in life got harder. And vice versa.
My journal is still with me but I don't use it as much. It seems that after I gave myself permission to recognize in the moment what I was feeling, the feelings didn't last as long. Writing things down also acted as a reminder to pray about them. And after clarifying how I felt about something and prayed about it, I felt more prepared and able to share it with someone else, should that need to happen.
On reflection, I can see how implementing a Back To Work writing therapy really improved my efficiency at my job and helped me grow to be an even better counselor. When I'm going through something in life (because life still happens) I'm not as afraid of those difficult conversations. I can better recognize now what is my reaction and what is happening outside of me.
Keep Calm and Write It Down
Another topic related to this is mindfulness. I highly recommend Dan Siegel as a source on that.
Showing posts with label Work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Work. Show all posts
Sunday, November 29, 2015
Monday, June 1, 2015
Day 1
Despite some nerves, my first day has been pretty smooth and is going by fast. For someone who has off and on anxiety, a complete change in routine can be pretty stressful. However, I woke up ready to tackle my goals. I also had a good state of mind after talking through some of my issues last night with Matthew. Basically, I was feeling the pressure to start my first day knowing exactly what was going to happen at my volunteer work. The problem with that state of mind is that I haven't had time to prepare anything yet because I just got off work! Give yourself a break, April.
Volunteer
This week is all about scheduling and preparing materials. I do know where and when I will be doing stuff so that's a relief. Other than filling my calender and to-do list, I'm taking it slow, today.
Whole 30
I drank honey-less coffee this morning and did some massive grocery shopping. It's so much easier to try a new diet when you have unlimited time to cook! I apologize for the lack of food pictures. I'm just not that kind of girl
Chicken Fingers (from Paleo Happy Hour)
I made chicken fingers for lunch. They were a little dry but tasted fine. The pork rind breading may have been the best part.
This is not a vegetable I ever expected to like but they were good!
Very olive oily. Hmmm.
Maybe tomorrow if I feel like it?
Self-Care
I took a nap in the sun and prayed for perspective. I wrote this blog.
If I had thought to take a picture for the blog, today, it would have been Willow racing a bunny in the back yard. I was rooting for you, pup! (Except not. I'm really glad the rabbit made it out.) Instead, this is what happened while I wrote this blog:
Happy Monday!
-April
Volunteer
This week is all about scheduling and preparing materials. I do know where and when I will be doing stuff so that's a relief. Other than filling my calender and to-do list, I'm taking it slow, today.
Whole 30
I drank honey-less coffee this morning and did some massive grocery shopping. It's so much easier to try a new diet when you have unlimited time to cook! I apologize for the lack of food pictures. I'm just not that kind of girl
Chicken Fingers (from Paleo Happy Hour)
I made chicken fingers for lunch. They were a little dry but tasted fine. The pork rind breading may have been the best part.
- grind ⅔ cup pork rinds, combine with ground almonds, garlic, onion, and cayenne.
- cut up chicken, dip it in 2 eggs, roll in mixture, and place on backing sheet. Bake for 25 minutes at 450, then broil for 5 minutes.
This is not a vegetable I ever expected to like but they were good!
- peel and cut ends of parsnips. slice into ⅛ inch rounds.
- combine 1 tbs coconut oil, 1 tbs chili powder, ½ tsp cumin, ½ tsp garlic, ¼ tsp cayenne, ¼ tsp salt
- bake. 10 minutes, turn and 10 minutes at 475.
Very olive oily. Hmmm.
- blend 1 egg yolk, 1 egg, 1.5 tsp apple cider vinegar, ¼ tsp mustard, ¼ tsp salt, cayenne.
- add 1 cup olive oil slowly.
- I added lemon juice and chipotle peppers in adobo sauce to make it into Chipotle Mayo.
Maybe tomorrow if I feel like it?
Self-Care
I took a nap in the sun and prayed for perspective. I wrote this blog.
If I had thought to take a picture for the blog, today, it would have been Willow racing a bunny in the back yard. I was rooting for you, pup! (Except not. I'm really glad the rabbit made it out.) Instead, this is what happened while I wrote this blog:
Happy Monday!
-April
Pre Furlough Reflections
My last day of work for the 2014-2015 school year was Friday and I've never been more organized for some time off. For the next eight weeks, my main tasks are to volunteer, study counseling stuff, and travel. Ideally, these eight weeks will prove to be both relaxing and fruitful. Fruitfully relaxing. Purposefully chill.
I've chosen three organizations to support during my self-employed summer: a local domestic violence shelter, a crisis maternity home, and my church. The work will include presenting to groups on topics such as children's mental health, teaching skills like relaxation strategies to parents, and supporting staff by consulting on client needs. In all, I expect this work to take about 10 hours a week, depending.
It's been slow getting my ducks in a row but I've already learned a lot about self-promoting and catering to a specific audience. The beauty of it is that I'm relying more on my skills of adaptation and in-the-moment responses more than planning. Planning has always been a strength but being flexible to meet the needs of those I'm around is so vital for counseling. I'm excited to stretch this ability and see what happens as it happens.
Another project I've assigned myself is studying Trauma Informed Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and a collection of other therapy resources. The resource stack is pretty huge, actually. It's hard to find time to read during my regular working hours but I keep finding more interesting topics to check out. Maybe I'll do mini book reviews as I finish things.
The last and most important agenda is self-care. I was reminded last week during small group how little time I've dedicated to self-care in the last two months. We moved houses. I got sick. Work was really busy. The result is that I feel drained and spent, emotionally. It's past time to figure out a new routine in this new place.
It's hard to make time for things that don't accomplish anything other than to bring peace. Walking is great and I do that often because it's good physical exercise. However, my mind needs an intentional clearing out to reset. God and I need time together. My favorite activities include painting/ drawing, writing in a journal, and praying/ meditating. One of my visions for this new house is a designated Quiet Space. I'm picturing a place to kneel, some tactile stuff like a bonsai tree or water, and mood lighting. I get a lot out of sensory activities, symbolism, and active prayer.
Follow along for updates on my real and metaphorical journeys. I expect great things to happen this summer!
-April
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Mom Post: To Be or To Do
No offense, millennials.
Several months ago, I wrote the blog title, "Mom Post." A little bit later, I added a subtitle, "To Be or To Do." Mothers Day was last Sunday, which was also the day my husband, Matthew, preached on this very topic. I'd say it's about time I write this thing.
My mother is a special lady. She teaches seven year olds how to grow up into very competent eight year olds. Every person I've known who has been in one of her second (and for a short, unfortunate time, first) grade classes has just the best things to say about her. With such witnesses, who can deny her influence on the world?
My mom genuinely loves children. Her children, likewise, love her, maybe a little too much. I think it's safe to say that her love for children is a big factor into why she chose teaching as a career. Truthfully, how could one survive, otherwise?
More than loving children, Mom believes children are capable. I've never met a child Mom couldn't teach to sing, or at least keep a beat. What a powerful skill.
Mom and I have a lot in common: music, analyzing relationships, allergies, making plans. We differ mostly in the environments in which we were raised. I grew up as part of the "Who am I?" generation. I can still see the bafflement on my parent's faces as pre-teen-me languishes on the sofa, struggling with the ultimate identity crisis of choosing a lifetime career before I begin high school. Kudos to them for being 100% supportive of each career of the week.
Maybe I'm wrong, but I get the sense that my parents didn't really have this kind of pressure. My dad jokes about how he had to wander around the world for awhile before figuring out what it was he would do. Mom took a more direct approach, but it still wasn't all planned out the way I was trying to plan out my life as a pre-teen.
I don't really understand why my generation (or anyone, really) is so set on having a clearly-defined identity. It didn't use to matter. It certainly frustrates my mom. (Note: This entire blog post is based off one really tiny conversation so most of the details are just things I'm thinking about, not necessarily the perspective of my mother.) The focus, to her, should be on doing. She is a teacher, a mother, a sister, and a friend, because that is what she does and what she cares about.
The problem, as I perceive her seeing it, is that people today don't have the will or motivation to do things that actually matter. Instead, they sit around and think and watch each other and describe themselves with words.
Both of my parents are doers. They have literally committed their lives to serving their family, their community, their church, and the world. As their daughter, I can see the effects of that service and value it as not just the actions they take but also who they are.
Several months ago, I wrote the blog title, "Mom Post." A little bit later, I added a subtitle, "To Be or To Do." Mothers Day was last Sunday, which was also the day my husband, Matthew, preached on this very topic. I'd say it's about time I write this thing.
My mother is a special lady. She teaches seven year olds how to grow up into very competent eight year olds. Every person I've known who has been in one of her second (and for a short, unfortunate time, first) grade classes has just the best things to say about her. With such witnesses, who can deny her influence on the world?
My mom genuinely loves children. Her children, likewise, love her, maybe a little too much. I think it's safe to say that her love for children is a big factor into why she chose teaching as a career. Truthfully, how could one survive, otherwise?
More than loving children, Mom believes children are capable. I've never met a child Mom couldn't teach to sing, or at least keep a beat. What a powerful skill.
Mom and I have a lot in common: music, analyzing relationships, allergies, making plans. We differ mostly in the environments in which we were raised. I grew up as part of the "Who am I?" generation. I can still see the bafflement on my parent's faces as pre-teen-me languishes on the sofa, struggling with the ultimate identity crisis of choosing a lifetime career before I begin high school. Kudos to them for being 100% supportive of each career of the week.
Maybe I'm wrong, but I get the sense that my parents didn't really have this kind of pressure. My dad jokes about how he had to wander around the world for awhile before figuring out what it was he would do. Mom took a more direct approach, but it still wasn't all planned out the way I was trying to plan out my life as a pre-teen.
I don't really understand why my generation (or anyone, really) is so set on having a clearly-defined identity. It didn't use to matter. It certainly frustrates my mom. (Note: This entire blog post is based off one really tiny conversation so most of the details are just things I'm thinking about, not necessarily the perspective of my mother.) The focus, to her, should be on doing. She is a teacher, a mother, a sister, and a friend, because that is what she does and what she cares about.
The problem, as I perceive her seeing it, is that people today don't have the will or motivation to do things that actually matter. Instead, they sit around and think and watch each other and describe themselves with words.
Both of my parents are doers. They have literally committed their lives to serving their family, their community, their church, and the world. As their daughter, I can see the effects of that service and value it as not just the actions they take but also who they are.
I want to do just like Mom.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Happiness
My friend Ellen (http://bubblewriting.blogspot.com/) wrote about finding destinies, today. It reminded me of a quote that is on the wall of the daycare where I work:
"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy.’ They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life."
- John Lennon
This quote is in the hallway between the 4- and 5-year old classrooms, the same age John and, I imagine, Ellen were when asked this question. I'm inspired every time I wander past with a broom at the end of the day.
When I was growing up, I would not have said, "I want to work in a daycare." But, it's where I am and I am content. The daycare where I work is a cheerful, honest place. The people there care about doing a good job and work together to provide for the needs of the children. During my time there, I have learned to value service and integrity and to strive to exhibit these traits more in myself.
I also work at a college as a part-time academic advisor. While this job is more in line with "what I want to be when I grow up," I do not feel that the work is more valuable than what I do at my second job. Both tasks are necessary and through both, I find pleasure in providing guidance and having a place to belong.
Ultimately, what I want to be is more abstract and broad than I could ever have defined as a child. Helping others, belonging somewhere, and working well are, in fact, enough to provide for my own happiness. Hopefully, along the way, I can inspire happiness in the small and large minds I encounter daily.
-April
"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy.’ They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life."
- John Lennon
This quote is in the hallway between the 4- and 5-year old classrooms, the same age John and, I imagine, Ellen were when asked this question. I'm inspired every time I wander past with a broom at the end of the day.
When I was growing up, I would not have said, "I want to work in a daycare." But, it's where I am and I am content. The daycare where I work is a cheerful, honest place. The people there care about doing a good job and work together to provide for the needs of the children. During my time there, I have learned to value service and integrity and to strive to exhibit these traits more in myself.
I also work at a college as a part-time academic advisor. While this job is more in line with "what I want to be when I grow up," I do not feel that the work is more valuable than what I do at my second job. Both tasks are necessary and through both, I find pleasure in providing guidance and having a place to belong.
Ultimately, what I want to be is more abstract and broad than I could ever have defined as a child. Helping others, belonging somewhere, and working well are, in fact, enough to provide for my own happiness. Hopefully, along the way, I can inspire happiness in the small and large minds I encounter daily.
-April
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