The church I attended for over a decade recently closed. I feel like God is inviting me to remember and share some of the good fruit that was produced during my time there.
If you're reading this and you ever attended Vineyard and God showed up for you there, will you share your story?
4 Then Joshua called the twelve men from the people of Israel, whom he had appointed, a man from each tribe. 5 And Joshua said to them, “Pass on before the ark of the Lord your God into the midst of the Jordan, and take up each of you a stone upon his shoulder, according to the number of the tribes of the people of Israel, 6 that this may be a sign among you. When your children ask in time to come, ‘What do those stones mean to you?’ 7 then you shall tell them that the waters of the Jordan were cut off before the ark of the covenant of the Lord. When it passed over the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. So these stones shall be to the people of Israel a memorial forever.” Joshua 4:4-7
Truly, I mean this: The time I spent with God and God's people at Springfield Vineyard Church for the past 13+ years was not wasted.
Godspeed Spring 2019
I and a good sized group from our church attended the Godspeed conference in Kansas City and it changed my life. I believe when we show up for God with the intention of being changed and we decide to put real effort and intention into that dedicated time, God honors that. This was my experience at the Godspeed conference. I had a nine month old baby at the time. Instead of letting that deter me, I invited my mother to the conference, too. We used the time to hang out with my cousin. It was great! My mom said my cute baby even brought some much needed levity to a serious/ sad situation she encountered. God's good like that.
"Godspeed" represents the pace at which God moves in contrast to how humans work. It's a beautiful call back to some ancient practices in the early church that often get forgotten during the busy seasons of service and ministry of the modern church. Without getting pulled too far into historical weeds I have barely studied, I'll just say this conference was a true beginning for me in my spiritual life. I had never before felt so invited and educated on the deep, spiritual work I have always felt called to. Contemplative prayer, the daily examine, practicing gratitude, silence . . . these ideas were not foreign to me but I'd never really taken the time to practice them.
Godspeed gave me the space to do that. In the midst of learning to be a mother, still working through living life without a career or "purpose," and feeling tired all the dang time, I let God lead me into a new season of growing with Him. I was able to ponder and reflect on painful experiences that had felt meaningless or selfish and see the richness God had planted there. Instead of shoving down intrusive thoughts that caused me shame, I felt God's invitation to explore those thoughts and be changed by Him. It was truly profound. If you have never experienced something like this, check it out (I'll list resources below.)
This conference also challenged a lot that I had assumed that church was supposed to be. I think I had been sort of waiting around for God to do miraculous things through me and didn't realize there was work to do inside myself. There's this whole concept of loving out of being loved. Serving out of "overflow". But really, step one is not loving God or other people, but being loved. Being a Christian wasn't about being "good enough," or reading my bible more, or praying right, or doing good things for people, it was just being in a relationship with God. I think I'd always known that logically but this conference was the first time I actually felt the freedom that comes with the deep knowledge that God, Himself, is enough. It is truly life changing.
Looking back, I can see all the beautiful seeds that God planted in me that have been growing ever since. I wrote a song while I was there. I started reading books that brought my two loves together (faith and mental health) in a way I didn't know but had always dreamed was possible. I began the slow and steady work of letting go of my striving and being changed by the nearness of God.
I think this conference, and the changes it inspired in our church community in the years that followed, will always be a highlight for me of my time at Vineyard. It marks a personal turning point that set me on a path that I haven't even begun to see all the twists and turns of. I have had such a deep hope and inspiration to continue this good and powerful work ever since. I praise God for the way He showed up for me at the Vineyard Godspeed conference.
The song I wrote:
Stay Close to Me
The time I spend with You is never wasted
Nothing is more real than You right now
As I abide with You Your love will grow in me
Oh Lord, I pray Stay close to me
I want to see the fruit of Your design
I need Your help to let go of my pride
You are all the reputation I desire
Oh Lord, I pray Stay close to me
You live and breathe in me. You change the way I see
You’re making me a vessel for Your glory
I choose the path You made. I choose the narrow gate
I choose to be a vessel for Your glory
Oh Lord, I pray Stay close to me
Wanna learn more about Spiritual Formation?
https://www.danwilt.com/
https://apprenticeinstitute.org/
https://renovare.org/
https://freelyandlightly.org/
https://www.upperroom.org/
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