House Updates

2014 has been a year of . . . . very . . . slow . . . home updates. I really know how to drag out a project. Luckily, I also had some help.

We have the intention of selling our house in a couple of years as our current home has limited space and only one bathroom. After talking to our favorite realtor (Scott is the very best), we settled on a list of projects to raise the appeal of our house without over investing.

Our fist big change was the bathroom. The shower/ tub combo was technically fully functional but looked really gross. There was a weird ledge thing between the shower and the toilet that our cats LOVED to lay on, resulting in the oddly-placed wallpaper to peel in that spot. The whole room looked a ghastly shade of yellow. And, as Scott informed us, a pretty bathroom is a big selling point!

Below is a terrible before picture because we didn't like taking pictures of our bathroom when it was ugly.

Here is the wall behind our shower, briefly exposed during the renovation.

The new shower!

Many hours of wallpaper removal and painting later . . . 

The bathroom project was accomplished during my break between quitting one job and starting another. I was grateful to have the flexibility to stay home and monitor the contractors and get all the painting done!

The next big chunk of projects were accomplished during my 8-week furlough over the summer and then I finished up small things on a couple of federal holidays. Dad helped me fix both the front and back fences! We stained the wooden front fence a pretty rustic brown. Katie also took a turn painting while I took a turn baby watching. Double win.

I will not show you the back fence as it's really just one corner of bent chain link that we fixed. We actually had to fix it twice since some neighborhood kids really enjoyed using that corner to access our yard. (Grr). It's stayed in pretty good shape for a while now.

I painted inside. A lot.

Here's my Ireland Wall with our new urban sunrise paint in the bedroom.

The hallway is also urban sunrise.

The (also urban sunrise) guest room contains new curtains that were an awesome garage sale find, courtesy of The Crawfords. Thanks, Isaac and Tiffany! I hung them horizontally so I could use two curtains in place of four. With the added inches of curtain hooks, they cover the whole window. This room is currently a disaster as I'm still working on painting the trim and some end tables.

The kitchen is a lovely sage green called "April Thicket." No joke. I'm also ridiculously proud of my ability to screw a hole in the wall and hang a plant. Victory is mine!

I'm constantly rearranging the furniture in our living areas. I've now designated our "dining room" as a "reading and music room." It has all of our instruments and music/ art stuff as well as a wall full of books. It's basically my favorite room in the house and gets the most natural light. Both living areas have newly refinished hard wood floors that was a whole week project.

I did not paint either living area because that's a lot of work for little gain. With all of the natural light these two rooms get, the yellow/ beige walls don't bother me as much. The trim is the same bright white I'm painting in the whole house, however.

We've taken a couch out of the equation and stored it in the basement. The living room has two areas, a sort of entry/ foyer and this room-inside-a-room. The TV is in the fireplace to save space. It's perfect. The entry/ foyer area, like the guest room, is still in progress.

Last but not least is Matthew's Office. He works from home now and this room is all his. As you can see in the Reading Room picture, I moved my desk out. Serendipitously, I decided to move out of the office months before he even thought about working from home. *Grateful*

Thanks for reading. I'll leave you with a picture of our Christmas Tree. It's a mini lemon cypress!

-April

The New Normal

Have you heard of the new normal?

Every now and then, something comes along in life and changes everything. At first, you're shocked, stunned. How could this happen? Of course, you probably know how it happened (your church moved buildings, you got a new job, your best friend moves away, etc.) But what you didn't know, was that in addition to changing your circumstances, this new normal also changes your outlook, your every day feelings, your routine. It feels like starting over . . . which can feel like losing something.

Our pastor preached about this new normal a while ago. It's a phrase I like to use in situations like changing my diet forever, or becoming an aunt (yay!) It applies to pretty much any time you realize: Everything is different now.

In my life, the new normal happens pretty regularly. It feels like stretching. Along that line, the more my life changes and I learn to adjust to new situations and circumstances, the more flexible I feel. I've not had major changes in my life, considering, but to me, some changes still feel really big.

When Matthew broke his collar bone and got a concussion, I felt the new normal of becoming a care taker for the first time and learning to put someone else's needs before my own. When I worked my first full-time job, I learned the new normal of sacrificing my time to help support my family. When God and I had long talks one summer about how to be a good friend, I learned the new normal of leaning on Him for my emotional needs rather than seeking that elsewhere.

I keep using that word "learn." I'm only 27 years old but I've already decided that we never stop learning and growing.

Last week, I felt a lot of newness in my life. My husband was transitioning into a new job (pretty much his first new job in 11 years), my brother and sister-in-law had a baby (yay!), and my job was the busiest it's ever been as I continue to get used to this relatively new career (counseling).

Sometimes we can experience good or neutral events but they still effect us like the world is going to end. Positive stress is better than negative stress but I still react to it the same way. Usually, I need to have a good long cry. By Friday of last week, I was ready for that but hadn't figured out how to do it. By Sunday, my body had had enough and I cried straight for thirty minutes (during church), just because.

I'm over the shock of things looking different and the emotional hump (for now). I find myself facing this new normal with my eyes and ears open. How can I support my husband as he works from home? What can I change about my routine at work that will help me stay happy and healthy? How can I support my brother and sister-in-law from six hours away?

This new normal feels like starting over . . . which can feel like opportunity.

Dad Post: To Build a House

This post was supposed to be published on 9/30/14. Whoops.

Does a person ever grow out of that stage of wanting to please her parents? I still have not. Whether I'm cleaning my house or choosing a new car, I find myself wondering what my parents would think. For example: sometime over the course of my marriage, I switched to use a mop rather than cleaning the floor by hand. This was to save time and make it easier to do an onerous task that otherwise would probably not get done. It's been years since the change and I still, to this day, have my mother's voice in my head explaining why the floor gets cleaner when you wash it by hand. Every. Single. Time. The worst part is, I know she's right.

My dad is a great thinker, literally. He thinks for long amounts of time and about very specific things. This makes him an excellent planner and follow-through-er. Luckily, I picked up some of his habits and usually have some sort of logical plan in place for most of my daily activities (though they may not be logical for the lay observer). I also inherited his sense of direction, taste for coffee, and stocky calf muscles. Unfortunately, I did not inherit his endurance for hard work. He is always doing things . . . and usually for other people!

Since his retirement, my dad works odd jobs around town, through his church, and at home and volunteers for clean up after natural disasters all over the country. He's gone a lot these days, traveling to scrape mud out of houses or building an addition for a church. He comes home with plenty of stories, too.

One trend I've noticed during his adventures is that his focus is not entirely, or even mostly, on the physical labor he's doing. Oh, he'll show me pictures of the progress they've made (proud of a job well done!) but what he tells me while showing these pictures are stories about people. He'll talk about how the team he was on worked really well together, the hosts were really kind and hospitable, or the neighbors had lots of questions about his faith or why he was helping.

What I learned from my Dad growing up and what I see even more clearly as an adult, is . . . well, it's a lot of things. But the two main points I'm making now are:

1. Whatever you do, do it to the best of your ability.

2. Meeting people's practical needs opens the door for meeting their spiritual needs.

So, when I go to my job and I feel tired, I push through. When I see a practical need around me, I consider meeting it. When I'm inspired by nature or challenged by worldly concerns or just happy to be doing a job that needs done, I'm reminded of him. And I praise God for my family.

Fitness and Health Update

Four days ago, I posted this on Facebook:

"
Working full time for the last two years has really taken a toll on my health. My weight has gone up (yes, even without eating all the stuff I don't eat) and my energy flat-lined. I've gotten into some bad habits and I lack the motivation to exercise. I used to walk 2+ miles a day just to get to work and now I drive everywhere. It's a sad story.
There's good news! I'm going to try tracking macro-nutrients and exercise using fancy phone apps ('cause that makes it fun, right?) You can "friend" me on myfitnesspal and runkeeper if you want. Be my friend! Walk around my neighborhood with me! If you have an MSU fitness center pass, let's schedule a "workout date."
"

I already feel a need to write an update because I already see areas that need major improvement! You guys, it's really hard to work out consistently and eat right!

Now that I'm done whining, here are the things that are going well and things that are NOT going well.

Excercise:
I have exercised more this week than any other since August. Huzzah! I need to walk or do yoga every day to stay in a healthy frame of mind. This area has improved since I started tracking but there is still room for improvement. My main issue is motivation. I have the time, the means, the energy, but not the will power. Finding friends to walk with me is really helpful!

Diet:
I haven't made major changes to my diet, just tracked calories and macro nutrients (protein, carbs, fats). I have also tried to be more intentional about eating when I'm hungry and not eating when I'm not hungry. This is easier than it used to be since I'm a recovering emotional eater. My other stress-relief hobbies help out here (yoga, walking, painting, reading, talking, music, etc.)

My goal for macro nutrients is consistent with a basic paleo food plan starting point: 20% protein, 20% carbs, 60% fats. I got really close to those percentages at first but as the week went on and my stress level rose, I have had increasing percentages of carbs, and decreasing percentages of protein and fat. One fact is glaringly obvious to me just based on my feelings; I NEED PROTEIN.

Since starting this job in February, diet has been a big problem for me. I often don't have time to eat lunch or have to eat while driving. I don't mind eating while driving but it makes meal planning very difficult. It's fun to eat fruit, nuts, chips, fruit/ nut bars, packages of deli meats, etc. but that's not really a full meal . . . I regularly don't get the protein I need or get it too late in the day.

I love making and eating chicken salad . . . for about two days until I get sick of it. I need more chicken salad type meals that can be eaten cold and on the go. Ideas? (Think paleo . . .)

In conclusion, I expect the exercise will continue to improve as I continue tracking. I need to work on increasing my protein to help me feel full and happy. Proper planning on the weekend is probably the key here. At least now I have my fitness tracking data to back me up and keep me motivated.

-April

Mom Post: To Be or To Do

No offense, millennials.

Several months ago, I wrote the blog title, "Mom Post." A little bit later, I added a subtitle, "To Be or To Do." Mothers Day was last Sunday, which was also the day my husband, Matthew, preached on this very topic. I'd say it's about time I write this thing.

My mother is a special lady. She teaches seven year olds how to grow up into very competent eight year olds. Every person I've known who has been in one of her second (and for a short, unfortunate time, first) grade classes has just the best things to say about her. With such witnesses, who can deny her influence on the world?

My mom genuinely loves children. Her children, likewise, love her, maybe a little too much. I think it's safe to say that her love for children is a big factor into why she chose teaching as a career. Truthfully, how could one survive, otherwise?

More than loving children, Mom believes children are capable. I've never met a child Mom couldn't teach to sing, or at least keep a beat. What a powerful skill.

Mom and I have a lot in common: music, analyzing relationships, allergies, making plans. We differ mostly in the environments in which we were raised. I grew up as part of the "Who am I?" generation. I can still see the bafflement on my parent's faces as pre-teen-me languishes on the sofa, struggling with the ultimate identity crisis of choosing a lifetime career before I begin high school. Kudos to them for being 100% supportive of each career of the week.

Maybe I'm wrong, but I get the sense that my parents didn't really have this kind of pressure. My dad jokes about how he had to wander around the world for awhile before figuring out what it was he would do. Mom took a more direct approach, but it still wasn't all planned out the way I was trying to plan out my life as a pre-teen.

I don't really understand why my generation (or anyone, really) is so set on having a clearly-defined identity. It didn't use to matter. It certainly frustrates my mom. (Note: This entire blog post is based off one really tiny conversation so most of the details are just things I'm thinking about, not necessarily the perspective of my mother.) The focus, to her, should be on doing. She is a teacher, a mother, a sister, and a friend, because that is what she does and what she cares about.

The problem, as I perceive her seeing it, is that people today don't have the will or motivation to do things that actually matter. Instead, they sit around and think and watch each other and describe themselves with words.

Both of my parents are doers. They have literally committed their lives to serving their family, their community, their church, and the world. As their daughter, I can see the effects of that service and value it as not just the actions they take but also who they are.

I want to do just like Mom.

In Preparation of Lent

This will be year two for me to try to give up TV for six weeks. Last year didn't go so well. So, for inspiration, a list!

Things I might do instead of watching television:

-play with the cats
-play with the dog
-floss
-keep the house clean(er)
-write more blog posts
-pray
-repaint bedrooms
-play piano
-read
-talk on the phone
-exercise
-go on dates
-garden
-eat less/ sit less/ computer less

Oh yeah, and do that Lent thing. Because here's the deal about Lent: it's not about the thing you took away, it's about what you do instead of the thing you took away.

"Lent is a season of preparation for the celebration of Easter and has historically served as a time of preparation for a new move of God in one’s life, symbolized by Jesus’ resurrection, celebrated each Easter.  During this time we move towards more fully entering into Jesus’ life, suffering, death, and, therefore, resurrection. It is a time when we make more room in our lives to focus on Jesus by giving up things that bring us comfort or distract us.  The idea is to then spend that time/energy/money with and for Jesus. It is also a time when, through clearing extra things out of our lives, we may become more aware of our own sin and/or our deep need for Jesus." -http://vcfp.org/sermons-resources/program-handouts/ways-to-observe-lent/

Besides the traditional "giving something up" practice, you could also:

-Make a Crown of Thorns
-Make a Prayer Chain
-Consider a Lenten Gift Offering
-Take Inventory and Lighten the Load
-Give TV the Night Off
-Read a Lent Devotional

(All suggestions taken from: http://vcfp.org/sermons-resources/program-handouts/ways-to-observe-lent/)

Travel (Or how contemplating travel drove me to existential considerations)

There is something my husband says that I find . . . not inspiring, but grounding, because it’s true: Often we don’t want to engage in a particular activity, but want to be able to look back and say that we have done that activity. This thought helps me prioritize my activities and distinguish between what I want to do and what I want to have done. (Anybody out there have a list of life goals they wrote in high school? Mine includes: skinny dip, write a book, act in a big theater production, adopt a child, and meet a famous person. Out of this list, there are very few items I think I would actually enjoy doing. Most are just things I feel like I ought to have done to be a well-lived person or I feel like I’m supposed to enjoy because . . . some reason.)

Foreign travel is one of those activities that I want to have done, and I struggle with actually enjoying doing it. I love to think back to times I experienced anything new. Strangeness has a powerful effect on me. When I am surrounded by unknowns, I tend to reinvent myself and see my life through a new perspective. However, while traveling, I struggle to find the balance between peaceful reinvention of the self and stress in the overwhelming unknown uncontrollables.

I’m currently listening to this book: http://www.hsperson.com/pages/hsp.htm and am viewing every area of my life through the lenses of a Highly Sensitive Person. In case you don’t feel like clicking on the link: a highly sensitive person is one who is overly aware of stimuli and faces unique challenges and insights in everyday life because of those sensitivities. I self-identify as a highly-sensitive person for several reasons but the relevant ones for this post are my tendencies to feel overwhelmed by loud noises, crowds, and spontaneous decisions.

As mentioned in a prior post, I have several food intolerances and follow the Paleo diet as closely as is reasonable for time, effort, and economic restraints. I have yet to experience foreign traveling in light of this particular challenge but I imagine it wouldn’t be easy.

It doesn’t seem like traveling would be a great fit for me, despite my desire to have a “has traveled” notch on my life story. And yet, I do plan to travel next summer (hopefully) to Europe. This journey is much more meaningful to me knowing the barriers I will personally need to overcome to make it happen. You might even say it’s part of my philosophy.

When a person is faced with adversity of any kind, there seem to be two popularly identified responses: those who overcome and those who submit. This has always seemed trite and shallow to me, however. I don’t see value in the act of overcoming itself. It seems that attitude serves no purpose other than to say “Look what I did! It’s so awesome because no one thought I could.” I kind of hear some “Na na-na na-na na’s” in the background.

My purpose for overcoming my HSP-ness and food issues is not so I can prove the strength of my character, but because there are really valuable things to be done in this world and not doing them because of “enter your personal challenge here” is simply not a good excuse. If I don’t do something that I perceive as a really important action, then it will be because it simply didn’t need to be done by me or was not a valuable use of my time.

Let me try to be more specific. I really care about relationships. I love people and getting to know them. Recently, it occurred to me that when someone doesn’t tell me personal and vulnerable information about him or herself, I start to feel very insecure. Even more recently, it occurred to me that I could ask for that information and have begun to do so.

The first majority of my life I didn’t like to put myself out there. At first I was shy, then I was just awkward and didn’t know how to say things I wanted to say. Last, I realized how easily overwhelmed I sometimes become and avoided conversation due to the annoying complexity of it all. None of these are good reasons to back out of building relationship. So, I do it anyway.

Another way to look at it is in the realm of fear. Growing up, it was the thing to do to jump off cliffs into appropriately deep sections of Missouri’s scenic river ways. I really wanted to know what it was like but was afraid. I was afraid it would hurt, that I would hit a rock, that my bathing suit would come off . . . But, for a long time, I did it anyway. I knew I would always wonder what it felt like if I didn’t. (And I jumped multiple times because that feeling is something only real in the moment and harder to remember afterward.) Jumping off big rocks may not seem like a very existential activity but it served a valuable purpose in my development. It taught me that if something is really important to me, then I need to do it.

If it is important to you, do it. That is really the only good reason to do anything.

Let’s bring God into it for a sec. (I should do some Biblical research about this, soon, and give God the real center stage in a blog post.) A common question for Christians is: “What am I supposed to do with my life?” It’s a hard question for many reasons including the obvious fact that there isn’t a simple answer to such a broad question. Then, there’s the overly simplified response of pointing out the places God gives orders like the 10 Commandments or Sermon on the Mount but which do not take into consideration the many varying factors of job, marriage, financial security, politics, yada, yada, yada. But, the truth is, no one really knows their purpose in the world because we’re all still living it and everyone’s different.

My only comfortable answer to this question is the delightfully vague “Purpose is seeking God and doing what we feel like He’s telling us to do.” My point in this is to say that I believe God makes things seem more important to us if we ask Him to show us. But then, we have to choose to act on whatever it is He shows us.

So, I chose to prioritize relationship, despite the headaches of communication snags, insecurities, and differing opinions it brings. Even when I don’t know what to say, I choose to be near people. And if I happen to feel overwhelmed, I don’t beat myself up about it because I know having time to myself will help me be more able to engage with others later. And, I know that I am capable of interacting with people if the moment is a really important one.

I choose to travel because I have learned that new experiences help me accept feelings of discomfort (both physical and cultural) that lead to later endurance, broaden my perspective by challenging my preconceived knowledge of the world, and inspire an adventurous spirit that spurs me to ask and wonder more.

Foreign travel is really important to me so I will do it.

It occurs to me that most write about travel with the intention of singing its praises and I just wrote about how it’s a burden to overcome. Welcome to my world. :-)